Stop whisperin’ – START SHOUTING!

Dear sir,
I have a complaint
Dear sir,
I have a complaint,
Can’t remember what it is,
Doesn’t matter anway,
Doesn’t matter anway.

Here’s the update you’ve all been waiting for!

Especially all five of my regular readers – both Americans (Shout-out to David and GoogleBot), and both Indians (DK, THF) and me.

“I’d like to thank everyone I know, and everyone I don’t know, in alphabetical order” – General Specific, Sheep In The Big City.

I’d also like to thank YOU. Yes YOU. As TIME Person Of The Year 2006, I’d like to thank YOU for coming! There’s tea near the lobby! And chips!
Well today’s updates first.

Premier League and 42?

IPL (Cricket)

8 teams. Home and away.

No. of matches = ((7*6)/2)*2 = 42. FORTY TWO.

[Just like no. of handshakes is SUM[(n-1) to 1] = (n-1)(n-2)/2, we double it for teams playing each other twice.]

EPL (Football)

20 teams. Home and away.

No. of matches = 19*18 = 342. THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY TWO.

Doordarshan’s world cup is over before it began.

Open The Hindu for Friday, March 23rd.

Open page 14 (I’m assuming you have the main paper of the city edition for Delhi.)

Under the news wrt G-33… right under it, in the left forming a sidebar.

“Doordarshan yet to send team to West Indies“

Wow.

Now that the Indian team is returning home, will the gov’t channel even want to send a team?

And the hindi commentary – was it by NEO Sports’ team in the Windies or was it DD in their Delhi studios?

All that wrangling over TV rights, the central communcation minister calling NEO Sports unpatriotic  because they had dared to stand up and refuse the demand by DD to share the live match feed.

When you get to the bottom of that article, read this one. And this one.

NEO Sports has got one bad problem. [insert snakes on a plane joke]

I don’t write conclusions.

They’re mine, and I don’t share. You go get your own.

India nearly out of the cup

So it has come to pass.

We’re nearly out, except if Bermuda can knock Bangladesh in the head.

Well it’s possible, isn’t it?

It was probably Sachin’s last match in the World Cup. Pity he had a null encounter.

Bring on the conspiracy theories.

They’re more entertaining than India’s batting against test playing nations.

You don’t remember, you don’t remember

Don’t read this if you dislike random words. They’re not random, but I try to ”mix it up”. This may not make sense. “It may disturb you. Scares the willies out of me.”

Click the link if you want to read ahead. You will be the first against the wall.

3 chairs for the Indian Team!

Woo!

After getting slated by all and sundry, then bashed on National news, and finally insulted by 3rd rate bloggers, the Indian team feat. Virender Sehwag  have turned a corner and suddenly posted a WORLD CUP RECORD 413/5 !

Wow.

Maybe we should criticise them everyday?

Good work See-wag, but we’re still watching you. You have to make at least 3 more hundreds in this cup before we can restore our faith in you. Three years of not performing = four world cup centuries minimum.

Well done Dravid for sticking with the guy (I still am suspicious) AND for having the highest strike rate (350.00) in the Indian innings.

And thanks a bunch to Yuvraj (who did all the damage) and Sachin (who scored his runs actually faster than Yuvraj as it turns out).

In the next world cup
Jackknifed a buttercup, I can bat again.
In the neon sign, scrolling up and down
That’s my ad again.In an interstellar burst…. escape the sta-a-adi-um.

In the deep deep sleep, of the innocent
There’s my ad again.
In a fast Korean car, They’re amazed that I survived
An a-hole saved my life.

An interstellar burst…. There’s my ad again.

An interstellar burst…. There’s my ad again.
An interstellar burst…. There’s my ad again.

O.o

Three cheers for the Indian team!

Hip! Hip! Bray!
Hip! Hip! Bray!
Hip! Hip! Bray!

Maybe it’s Canada’s fault.

Greg: Times have changed
Our players are getting worse
They won’t obey their coaches
They just want to fart and curse!
Vengsarkar: Should we blame the government?
Pawar: Or blame society?
Wives: Or should we blame the images on TV?
Greg: No, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada
Greg: With all their beady little eyes
And flapping heads so full of lies
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Greg: We need to form a full assault
Everyone: It’s Canada’s fault!
Vengsarkar: Don’t blame me
For my opener man
He did the damn adverts
And now he’s off to join the Klan!
Pawar: And my boy Dravid once
Was given the name The Wall
But now when I see him he says he likes hair gel!
Greg: Well, blame Canada
Everyone: Blame Canada
Greg: It seems that everything’s gone wrong
Since Canada came along
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Copy Guy: They’re not even a real country anyway
Speed: That Sehwag could’ve been an opener or a spinner rich and true,
Instead he fell down like a fatso at the barbecue
Everyone: Should we blame the coaches?
Should we blame the bowler?
Or for giving him out blame the umpire?
Greg: heck no!
Everyone: Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Greg: With all their hockey hullabaloo
Pawar: And that bitch Anne Murray too
Everyone: Blame Canada
Shame on Canada
For…
The smut we must stop
The trash we must bash
The Laughter and fun
Must all be undone
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before someone thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!

Why don’t we have a “group of death” analysis before the Cricket World Cup? It was pretty obviuos to everyone except the Indians that this is a very tough group.

It’ll all end in tears; it probably has

Extra Extra : Read all about it : Millions of TVs smashed as both pakistan and India succumb to awesome firepower of mighty Ireland and the all-conquering Bangladesh.

Anang said:

fucking hell man, i’m 21 years old, this is the first time in years i have paid attention to the world cup and to see this shit

goddamn

Harish said:

It’s pizza time !!

What I want to know is how come India and Pakistan both lost on the same day.

I don’t like the fact that See-wag played.

But Robin Uthappa at one down?

The only two guys with any spine were (ironically perhaps) the two lefties who’ve played the least cricket in the past year.

Maybe it’s too early to start supporting your second team, whichever it is, but this spineless display is pretty much what makes me not watch cricket in the first place. I only saw what was happening at 150-odd for 7.

Virender Sehwag

Ah the wartiest of the Indian stalwarts.

The less said, the more about this Delhi boy.

I have gone from an ardent supporter of Virender “Mayur” “Viru” Sehwag, to a confused and hapless supporter of the Indian team.

The general controversy is why the selectors persist with the guy, especially with the emergence of Robin Uthappa. Why does Indian cricket have sacred cows (pun definately(sic) intended)?

Dravid is perhaps the only one sticking up for him. Reminiscent of Ganguly as captain.

Anyhow. What if 4 months from now, the commentators are saying, live and on air…

Here comes Sehwag to open the innings for India…

He’s been a very consistent performer these past 8 months as opener…

Yes Mark, his average has been continually and evenly moving in the same direction…

Here is Namibia’s newest recruit on the international scene, waiting to bowl his first over in International cricket…

And Virender Sehwag obliges! A customary swing-and-a-miss! The middle stump is in the air, and Sehwag is walking back!

Mark, I do believe he enjoys his routine morning walks!

Yes Henry! This reminds of the time when Bangladesh asked 16 year old Islam Yousuf to open the bowling…