The inadvertent misadventures of yuppiesaurus

Ah yes, the Yuppiesaurus.

A mythical beast of legend – really bad legend, but legend nevertheless.

Would you like to listen to its stories?

Think of a beast that reads and learns the words, but never gets what’s behind the words. Forever parsing the lines word by word, digesting, but never actually thinking about it – regurgitating everything he reads, never understanding, blindly mumbling.

One that will happily sit in front of the TV, and accept as good what the man on the Lifestyle channel tells him is nice and wonderful. So wonderful.

The IT yuppiesaurus is perhaps the worst – never having to do physical work for his earning, he is infected with a yearning for escape into the wild – whether the jungle or the urban sprawl, he seeks a daily escape.

He is also a notorious flirt – especially online, where “normal rules don’t apply.” Causing everyone around him to earn a bad name, he will blissfully bulldoze a path where a lot of people have been (and got beaten up.)

He is of course, a first grade idiot. But you can’t spot it, as he spouts jargon as if the fountain of youth was actually full of TLAs, buzzwords and arcane synonyms of the word ‘hipster’ and here was the youngest man of all time.

The yuupiesaurus is also a first-grade hypocrite – the kind that’ll never admit to being one. He will have the coded rules to things like manners and fairness learnt by heart – but they apply only one way – when yuppiesaurus thinks it relevant. Things like art-appreciation matter to the yuppiesaurus, but only in so far as matching the popular opinion, word for word.

Did you know? Yuppiesaurii are believed to make great PHBs? Yep. See how they treat sycophancy vs. genuine praise and criticism vs. bashing. They can’t tell the difference, just like PHBs.

Where can we spot this mythical beast?
In Bangalore? Yes. Delhi? Of course. Even potential yuppiesaurii – with all the attributes, but none of the money earned yet. They’re everywhere. Messing things up with their pseudo-intellectual non-stop mimicking of words. Makes one believe firmly in the hypothesis that humans never actually learn, we just piece together basic actions (like sounds) into more and more complex actions (words) and increase the level of complexity every little while (sentences) – we just sound intelligent, we’re just really good at faking it.

Next up: Yuppiesaurii features to note, Dealing with a yuppiesaurus, Identifying yuppiesaurii.

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