An old story un-passworded

Here’s a story unpassworded. I have changed it a little thanks to feedback from the company’s internal blogging system.

The Red Mamba

As the gunfire sounds receded, he squatted, taking precise aim at…

*SPLAT!* He felt the impact, grimaced, and braced himself, expecting to see the red liquid ooze over his torso. He looked down, and sure enough, he was hit.

“AAARGH!” came his primal scream.

His vanquisher laughed maniacally. And thus he knew, it was The Maniac (TM™). He groaned, not because he was hit, but because ™ had got him. Of all the people in the world, why did it have to be him? As he lay down, ™ lobbed something at him. Already in shock, he could only say, “Round,” before it was too close to dodge. Instinctively he put his hands up, and the water balloon frag grenade hit his palms, the red color staining his hands as well.

“Hahahahahahahahaha!” laughed ™. “I got you, red-handed!” he screamed.

“Yeah,” he replied sarcastically. “I can see that.”

“Get it? Get it?” ™ nudged him, “Because your hands are r…”

“Yes, Bob, I know. I can see,” he snapped back.

“Aww, come on! It was pretty funny, I thought,” said Bob™.

“Bob, you wouldn’t know funny if it hit you in the face,” pat came the reply, just as Bob, in a case of friendly fire was accidentally very accurately hit in the face by his own captain’s water balloon team sniper.

“AAARRRGGHHH! MY EYE! MY EYE!” screamed Bob as he ran screaming around the place like a headless chicken.

Though he was dead, he still replied, as calm as you like, “See Bob, what did I tell you?”

_fin_

Q: Why?
A: Because.

PS: The first version originally was about paintballing. This one works better. Will supply an accreditation-link tomorrow.